An open apology to the minivan whom I inconvenienced when I was pulled over on the side of the road vomiting into a plastic kiddie cup:

I'm sorry.

(Sorry I didn't feel up to chasing you down, finding where you lived, and giving you a piece of my mind. I, however, was too under the weather to be able to keep up with you. [When I say "under the weather," what I really mean is that I was filling up Maddy's CPK Kids cup with Pringle-scented upchuck.] I feel that your kind gesture of honking deserves some kind of reciprocation, and so, for that, I'll just silently curse you forever. I can't believe there are people in the world who have their heads so far up their asses that they are going to honk at a pregnant woman puking on the side of the road, when my car was not obstructing traffic and my hazard lights were on. To top this all of- it was a MINIVAN! Who drives a minivan without being sympathetic to the plight of a pregnant woman? The only people who drive minivans have already popped out a number of kids themselves, right?

I am forced with no other option than to learn how to hone my barfing skills, so that the next time this situation occurs, I can projectile vomit at passersby. Really, this isn't the worst idea I've had all day.

Oh, and remind me never to tempt fate again by posting an entry like my previous one. I should know better!