I'd rather eat a cupcake than a baby.

I finally decided it was time to let Maddy and Brady in on the big secret of their impending baby sibling. I wanted to make the moment special and celebratory, so I stopped by a bakery on my way home from work and picked out two chocolate cupcakes with enormous mounds of icing made to look like an underwater scene, complete with an orange-icing octopus on top. I led the kids over to the couch, handed them a cupcake each, and told them to sit down.

Me: "Tonight, we're having cupcakes to celebrate something very special happening to our family."
Maddy: "Where'd you get these cupcakes? You definitely didn't make this."
Brady: "Can I eat it?"
Me: "Yes. {Silence. Cupcake eating.) Well? Don'tcha want to know what we're celebrating?"
Maddy: "I thought we were celebrating because you got us cupcakes."
Me: "No, we're celebrating because something special is happening to our family."
Brady: "I know, Mommy! Cupcakes are weally special!"
Me: "No, not cupcakes, something else. Guess what? Our family is getting bigger!"
Maddy: "That's what happens when you eat a lot of cupcakes."
Me: "That's not what I mean. We're going to have a new person in our family!"
Brady: "Mom, I ate all my frosting!"
Maddy: "I ate all my frosting FIRST!"
Brady: "No you diddit!"
Maddy: "Yes, I did!"
Me: "Hey! Um, don't you want to know about the new person in our family?"
Maddy: "Only if it's a cat."
Me: "It's not a cat. You're going to have a little brother or sister!"
Maddy: "Well, I'm still going to be the oldest, right? Can I have another cupcake?"
Me: "No. Hey Brady, did you hear? You're going to have a baby brother or sister!"
Brady: "Baby Brother."
Me: "You don't get to pick."
Brady: "I want a baby brother. Can I have a baby brother for Christmas?"
Me: "It might be a baby brother, or it might be a baby sister. And it's not going to be for Christmas, Brady. Mommy has a baby in her belly right now!"
Brady: "WHAT? Mom! MOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING EATING LITTLE BABIES?"